Wednesday, December 21, 2005
!!!!
Monday, November 28, 2005
School... will it never end? I gots a new game too...
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Moody Thunderstorm...
Heavy Rain / Thunderstorm
You have alot of mood swings and is a tad
emotional. You are brave and courageous and a
tad shy at times. You are kind of a drama
queen but thats cool
What Type of Weather Decribes Your Personality?! (anime pics)
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LOVE>>> DUM DUM DUUUUM!!!!
Your true love is your worst enemy. You both fight
to hide your true feelings. Sometimes it shows
you like him so you fight even more. Ask him
out or something because fighting isnt my idea
of a good date.
How will you meet your true love? (WITH CUTE ANIME PICS!!)
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This is probably the most acurate result I've gotten yet!
Daydreamer girl! you daydream alot, and you like to
sleep...youre quite intelligent only you're
just lazy
What are you like at school? (anime picts girls only of course...)
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Random Angel Quiz
Angel of Calm.
You're duty is to create a peaceful, trankquil
atmosphere whever you may go, and this may
involve peacemaking in argument, relieving
those who are stressed and comforting those who
are worried. You are a very laid back person,
who takes everything in their stride, and never
has tempers or 'lashes out' for no reason! A
very sensible person, who makes wise decisions
after dwelling on their thoughts for a long
time and 'drifting'. You are a caring person in
a calm way, and comfort all those that are
angry.
Your element: Water
Your colour: Blue
Your most like: Archangel. Strong, peaceful,
giving, tranquil.
Your least like: Angel of Passion. Firey, angry,
determined.
RANDOM!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!anime pictures!
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My Hidden POWER!!!!
You have a rather calm soul, but when tempted
will get pissed off at those who bug you. You
do whatever you can in your powers to help
those of your allies and have a okay taste for
human kind, but you find them rather annoying
on occasions.
Gem Stone: Saphire, Eye Color:Ice
Blue,Hair Color:Dark Blue that's long
that goes to your waist.
Quote:If you wait for me
Then I'll come for you. Although I've travelled
far, I always hold a place for you
In my heart. If you think of me, If you miss me
once in a while, Then I'll return to you. I'll
return and fill that space in your heart
What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
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Element Again...
Wind! Wind is the expressionless but wild element.
You go with the flow very well. However you can
be a harsh tornadoe one moment then a soft
breeze the next. Just like your loose and flowy
personality you have a likewise style. You will
do last minute things because your always busy
writing or reading. Wind is always at a
balance. Even if you do get into the occasional
pickle you'll know how to deal with it! A song
to check out: I'm like a bird by Nelly
Which element are you most suited with? GIRLS ONLY! [gorgeous anime pics] UPDATED!
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My love does not exist!
So, you are the Non-existing love,
huh? Or, "non-existing" might perhaps
be the wrong word. You do love, you just don't
want to get hurt. To you, pride is everything,
and you rather never love officially, because
then no one can get to you. I do this myself,
and I can't say if it's good or bad... Alone is
strong.
Please rate aaaaand... eat chocolate bars?
*cough*rate*cough* ^^
What Love are you Fated for? ~AWESOME anime pics!~
brought to you by Quizilla
I guess another element...
Your element is Rain: Sad, lonely, distant and
unique. You are quite distant from emotion and
people, but you have been made this way by one
thing or another. You are truly unique yet fail
to see it and are quite creative be it in art,
music, writing, ect.. You used to let people in
now you don't even bother to try, having been
hurt so many times in the past. Your attitude
is that you don't need anyone but yourself,
people are just trouble waiting to happen. But
you really do want to trust someone no matter
if you see it or not, deep down your waiting
for someone to come and set you free. This kind
of depression can turn dangerous, don't let
them get to you. Not everyone in the world will
hurt you. Humans are humans and are not
perfect. So most likely sooner or later you'll
meet someone who feels like you do and perhaps
your shell will eventually disappear.
.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
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My OTHER Anime Character
You are the depressed/dreamer anime girl.You either
lost somebody you love or somebody broke you
heart so bad that you can't pick up the
shattered pieces without hurting yourself.You
think nobody can heal your wounds but don't
stop looking because you never know who loves
you enough to try hell the one special guy
could be right infront of your eyes and you
don't even know it.You also love to day dream
because it seems like the only place that makes
you happy.But little do you know that people
all around you are trying to make you happy and
you won't let them in fearing you'll get
another heartbreak or get hurt worse.But just
try and if things go wrong just brush it off
and try again.It never hurts to try.One more
thing never let that lost love one leave you
heart keep them in forever and keep their
memory alive.
If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
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An Unfortunate Angel...
The Unfortunate Form. you think you cause everyone
trouble, but really you're just shy and
uncomfortable around people. open up and maybe
you'll bring good luck even!
Your Angel Form!! (girls only sorry guys please RMF and lotsa anime picts!!)
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I'm a shadow...
I do not know what you are... You are just a
shadow with beautiful emerald eyes when I look
at you. You're mysterious. You sort of hide
from others and don't trust so many people. You
immediately turn into a shadow when someone
turns around to see you. All they see is your
beautiful eyes in a sheet of black. People
don't know a lot about you at all! You are
quiet and your feelings are usually hard to
tell. You are very secretive, shy and aren't
around with too many creatures. There aren't a
lot of creatures like you in fact! No one has
seen you in your true form. People always guess
about who you are and no matter what they say,
you don't care... you just stand there...
unaffected by insults or even compliments by
other whispering people. You like yourself that
way... or do you?
You're so mysterious so you mysteriously get this
mysterious result and mysteriously rate 5 and
message mysteriously!
Deep inside you, there's a creature trying to get out... What is it??? (Beauitful anime pics)
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My OTHER Japanese name...
Your Japanese name should be
'Aki'
which means
"autumn".
You can be compared with
autumn, the way the autumn weather changes, is
how your feelings change. You have these mood
swings you can't control; one moment you're
happy, the next you're feeling almost
depressed. You're probably sensitive and
creative.
Which Japanese name fits you best? [females, 9 results + absolutely stunning ANIME pictures!]
brought to you by Quizilla
WIND!!!! TAY IN DA WIND!!!!
Wind. You can be a little unsure of yourself at
times, but once you're steadied, you provide
solid support to those around you.
Personality: You're far more muted than any of the
others but that isn't a bad thing. Winds might
fall behind pace when discovering who they
really are, but once you know, you'll be one of
the kindest and most caring people someone
could ever ask for. One of the reasons it takes
you a little longer to find yourself is because
you always put others first. Some people might
think youre a pushover and you can be a little
too trusting. But you just want to find the
good in everyone. When youve helped those
around you become better or happier people,
youll find your own problems a lot easier to
deal with. Youll learn to relate better to
yourself once you take your external
experiences and apply them internally.
Temper: Honestly? You don't have much of one. When
cornered, you tend to pull back and shy from
confrontation. However, if you're pushed, your
muscles will begin to coil and youll find your
teeth. As soon as an opening presents itself,
you'll take it. That means that if people want
to get a highly emotional reaction from you,
they'll have to push. But it also means that
their strategy might blow up in their face when
you give them your gut-honest reaction instead
the answer they were looking for. People will
try and get you to cave in, so remember that
just because they're louder doesn't mean
they're right. Look to the many people youve
helped to remind you just how strong you are.
The Other Elements:
Earth: Your elemental opposite. Stay away. Stay far
away. Earth is stubborn, emotional, and
aggressive. Because they have a tendency to
think more about themselves than others, guilt
takes a while to catch up with them so don't be
surprised if they end up taking advantage of
you. Approach with caution. Your trusting
nature with make you want to help them, but try
steering them towards another element before
you tackle the task yourself.
Water: Your elemental equal. You have a lot in
common with Wind which makes for smooth and
quickly built relationships. Wind and Water are
a force to be reckoned with when working
together. But because it comes so easy, Water
might take it for granted and the relationship
can easily become superficial. Keep them
ground. When they get a little too caught up
with material possessions, remind them what's
really important. But keep in mind that Water
can help you loosen up and have a litle fun.
Fire: Not your opposite but not your equal either.
Like a relationship with those of your own
element, relationships with Fire are often
hit-or-miss. Fire can be scary at first, but if
you stay calm and patient, giving them a
chance, you'll recognize the same loyalty in
them that you have in yourself. You both have
pulled back personalties, but Fire is cautious,
not withdrawn. Ask and you can gain invaluable
tips on being a bit more assertive.
Which Element Are You? (w/pictures and VERY in-depth answers)
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My Goth Name
Girl Name:Marquesa Demona
Guy Name:Master Byron
*Never forget
the one's close to you*
You stand out
because of your firey independance. You won't
let anyone drag you down or get in the way.
Just remember that you can hurt people easier
than you think.
What Is Your Goth Name? (Updated!)
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I guess I am a bit gray...
you are misunderstood by people around you. sure,
you are dark and quiet,but this is due to past
experiences.try to befriend more people. i'm
sure you will realised that the world isn't
that bad....
how dark are you
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X_x RAVENS ARE SPEWING FROM MY CHEST!!!!
Breaking down-You're not afraid to show you're true
side to others and break down in front of
anyone. You're a very emotional person and you
don't try to hide it? Why are you trying to hde
a part of life? It happens to everyone. We all
have a sensitve side you just choose to show
yours more than others. You like ravens you're
very much alike and you will never hide your
true feelings which at time can be a hassle.
How do you deal with pain?(w/pics guys and girls)
brought to you by Quizilla
Kinda inaccurate, but I just love the pic!
Fallen - you are among the worst of angels, in the
past you've gone terribly astray and as
punishment had your wings taken from you, now
you live on earth and can still use magic but
not in front of regular people so you usually
like to be alone, you also like to mess with
other people's minds sometimes, and you can't
be trusted
What type of Angel are You? (ANIME PICS. GIRLS ONLY!!!)
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I R NORMAL!!!
YOu are a normal perosn, and like every normal
person you have dates that sometimes screw you
mind and make you as mad as the devil himself!
Okay, so everyone goes throguh that and its
pefectly normal. Once you are in love you will
no it since it will feel like nothing it the
world will go wrong and that whenever the
person is around you just want to stare into
his soul and have him hold you forever...
Are you in LOVE?!?!(HOTT PICS)=gurls only
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My Anime Visage... Kinda Cute, huh?
you would look very calm and very pretty. people
may see you as some one they can use because of
your peacefulness. however you see straight to
the truth, and know when people are lying to
you. you are reletively quiet, but you see and
hear everything. you like to read and learn...
and thats a good thing. it keeps you ahead of
the rabble that follow behind
So what would you look like as an anime character, oh ive only got girls here... but if people like it then i could make a guy one...
brought to you by Quizilla
Everyone thinks I'm depressed...
Your inside self is depressed.You seem to think
that no one cares and you dont either,you most
likely seclude your self from everyone that is
around. You are most likley labled as a
"goth" or " weird." but
remember you will eventualy find someone or
they'll find you.
What does your concious look like?(GREAT PICS BOYS AND GIRLS)
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Um... I'm a locked up girlfirend!
You are a Locked-Up Girlfriend! You have locked
yourself out of love, weather it be because you
have experienced too many heartbreaks, or that
you just dont want to. Whatever it is, you try
not to love, and maybe even convince yourself
to fall out of love. If a guy ever did find the
lost key to your heart, he might not be able to
open it.
Quote: There is always some madness in love. But
there is also always some reason in madness. -
Friedrich Nietzsche
What Kind of GIRLFRIEND are YOU? (with pics)
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My Dominant Trait-I think this one was kinda deep...
Dominant Personality: Fear
Good Traits: You don't trust easily, and
you're not gullible. People don't get the
chance to take advantage of you.
Bad Traits: You're paranoid. You have to
relax a little, and realize that some things
aren't worth the fear.
People see you as: Paranoid, impatient, and
jumpy. Others don't know why you're so
untrusting, and may deem you as a freak.
You're Most Like: Disappointment. You dread
with the future holds for you. Unlike
disappointment, you haven't experienced much
rejection because you don't take risks.
You Need More: Innocence. Be adventerous,
and explore the world. Keep in mind that you
don't want to be fearless. It just has to be a
healthy fear.
What's your dominant trait? (10 unique results)
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How I feel-This one was deep too...
You feel misunderstood. A life is a love that is
unrequited. You must have gone through some
hard times. Life has judged you and so you live
the way it has willed. You feel trapped like
you have to please everybody around you, or
face consequences. There is shame and
inapproprate guilt residing in your heart, like
a hole eating it's way from the inside out. You
need to come out of your shell and show some
attitude. You deserve the attention that
everyone else gets. They see you yet they don't
see the tears that are always there.
Element: Water
Color: Grey
Quote: If I could undo these chains that bind me to
my sorrow, I would be leaving the others who
feel this way behind.
Expression: Eyes shut, shedding tears. With your
teeth gritted.
Symbol: A tear/invisible shield/rain
.:Look me in the eyes... Tell me how you feel:. (anime pics) [Detailed results]
brought to you by Quizilla
What Lies Behind My Eyes-This was a really indepth question...
Sadness and depression is what lies behind your
eyes... Or even so, you can't even tell what
lies behind your eyes because they're
constantly covered up with tears! You've been
hurt, abused, and damned far too much for you
to handle it all anymore! No one understands
you because theyre too scared to get to
know you! You want to finally give up; just
escape and rid of all your pain. You want
people to understand, you want comfort... You
tend to bottle up all of your emotions and
problems, hoping that theyll all go away But
you long to reach out and tell that one special
person all of your feelings and troubles! But
you never seem to have that person to talk to,
or they just dont want to hear you! You want a
normal and happy life. Though
that picture is porcelain in your mind; it's
not as great as it seems, and most importantly,
it's not real! You always feel this
sense of loneliness clouding over your head;
isolated though surrounded by several people.
None of them know you; none of them see what's
wrong with you. You want understanding, you
want that friend, and you want that perfect
life! You often find isolated places as being
your salvation; any place away from 'them' is
ideal to you. You also love to express yourself
in many ways; whether it be through your
emotions, words, art, or even physically. You
think no one can relate to you, but you don't
know how wrong you are! You're just too scared;
too scared to admit that maybe you're wrong
about society... You want company, but at the
same time, you're scared of it. Your sanctuary
is your room where you can just be alone and
try to throw away all of your aching pains.
You're dark and mysterious and people like you
for that reason. Even if you think you're all
by yourself in the dark, someone is always
there with you. Your special someone wants to
admit and show their feelings towards you, but
they're afraid of how you'll take it. Maybe it
isn't as bad as you portray it to be! Life
brings smiles, tears, laughter and memories...
The smiles fade, the tears dry, and the
laughter eventually dies down... But the
memories... Those last forever! So try to make
them memories you can cherish... You only live
once, so make it the best as possible :) Don't
start frowning! You never know who's falling in
love with your smile :)
What Lies Behind Your Eyes? (Surprise!)
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My Secret Ability
Dreamwalking is your specialtiy.
You are a person with a huge imagination, and would
rather live in their imaginary world than the
real one. You love to sleep, because when you
do, you get to live in your dreams. In your
dreams, you see things that might come true,
and at some times they do. You can interperate
any dream, whether it be yours or someone elses
and most of the time, you are acurate. Many
people may look down upon you because of the
fact that you don't seem to see the problems of
the real world, but you do. You just want to
escape them, and your dreams and imagination is
where you can find that solace.
Everyone has a secret ability. What is yours? (7 answers with pics)
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My Kind of Anime Cat
You are the Kitsune. You arent much of a cat and
you are actually a fox. You are calm and
innocent and you always try to do every the
right way. You never lie since then you feel
guilty later on in your life. You always want
to treat people fairly so then you will too.
What Anime Cat Are You? //.:With CUTE Anime Pics:.//
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My Ideal Dress
You are a goth.Your dress, of course, is black.Good
for you.You make me proud.
What Is Your Ideal Dress? (Pics And Lots Of Results)
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Tuesday, November 08, 2005
My Japanese Name
Your name is Makoto you a smart and funny.
you have your own style and dont care what others
think so much and your not the neatset person
when it comes to your room
Whats your Japanese name .::Girls Only::. *~Anime Pics~*
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This is What Kind of Girl I Am
Your a romantic girl! You love your man very much
and will do anything to make sure he's happy.
Your all into kissing and always hope that he
will love you like you love him!
What Type of girl are you?
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Boy things are going slow...
Halloween's on Monday! YAY! All the more reason to write horror stories!
Please check up on me frequently. I allow annonymous comments so give me your honest opinion. I've been so lonely... no one leaves me comments any more... *sniffs*
Ah well, at least I still have my blog!
Friday, October 14, 2005
Busy, busy, busy...
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Been a while, huh?
I still don't have a car and I'm busy as hell.
Mr. Holst yelled at me today for handing in my essay so late. I swear he's schitzophrenic because when I actually handed it to him he got all excited. X_x Whatever.
I've decided to actually keep up with Mr. Wynn's homework this year... So far so good...
I've been writing fanfics for FMA under the handle Nina Elric. Check 'em out if you want.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
..............
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Story
Here's the shortest story I've ever written. 11 pages at 1.5 spacing on Microsoft Word. Its the shortest story I've ever typed up. I have an even shorter one, but its only hand-written.
This story belongs to me and is copyrited in my name. Anyone who plagiarizes this work can and will be prosecuted to the extent of the law.
Not meant for those who are faint of heart.
*Title refers to the latin word meaning mirror... not the other thing!!!!! God people!
Contains: Frequent cussing, implied cannibalism, disturbing situations... its just one hell of a twisted story. Read at your own risk.
For everyone else, read and review!
*Speculum
(c) Cara Jarrow
How would you feel if you were trapped in a dark room that was no bigger that an outhouse? Your wrists shackled above your head. The cold steel boring into your flesh every time you move. How would you feel if you knew that you were going to die alone in the darkness? Well, you wouldn’t be alone, but your companion wasn’t exactly human.
*****
He knew that he was being followed. For days the second shadow traced his steps. Everywhere he went it followed. When he sat in the bathroom stall, he could see the shadow pacing around outside the door. It frightened him, but what could he do? Who would believe that someone was stalking him? No one ever believed him.
He was walking home to his apartment when something happened that was blurred in his memory. He could hear someone traipsing along behind him. The steps were uneven as though his follower was drunk. He kept walking, praying that someone would join him in the darkness, someone other than the shadow.
Finally, he stopped. Unlike usual, the other footsteps didn’t stop as well. They continued until he could feel the solid presence of another being at his back. Then the cloth went over his mouth and the toxins took him under.
*****
When he woke up, he found that he was in a tiny room, hanging from a wall. His wrists were fastened above him in cold steel shackles. He began to struggle fruitlessly, trying to free himself from the chains. When he realized that he was going nowhere, he relaxed his muscles and let his legs dangle loosely on the ground.
He cursed in the darkness. How could he have let this happen? Why now? Why did his kidnapper move now? And, most of all, why him? He really wanted to know what he had done to his abductor to deserve this.
Soon enough he heard the sound of shuffling feet moving slowly towards the door. They stopped right where the tiny crack of light came through at the bottom of the floor. He heard what he supposed were keys ringing. With a loud bang, the door swung outwards lazily. There, in the glaring light, stood a decrepit old man. His body was thin and wasted. He hunched over, leaning on a rotten wooden cane. His scalp was bald with liver spots decorating his temples. The deep inset eyes revealed little amusement, but the crooked smile begged to differ.
“Hello, my boy,” the voice rasped.
“I’m not your boy!” he yelled as he struggled with the chains again.
“Now, now, don’t be stupid. You know you can’t escape, so why do you bother?”
“Shut up,” he spat, literally.
The old man shook a thin, crooked finger.
“That’s no way to treat your host. Especially after I’ve taken the liberty to make you so comfortable.”
“Who the hell are you?!”
The man chuckled weakly.
“That’s none of your concern…”
“I don’t see how it isn’t!”
“No. No my dear child. Who I am doesn’t matter, but perhaps I could at least tell you why you are here…”
“Yes, please!”
The man shrugged.
“You are here for a wonderful reason. I have brought you here as a sacrifice,” the man on the wall struggled with his chains, “Now, now. You must understand that you don’t actually have to go through with it…”
“What?”
“I am old and I don’t like it. You are going to help me regain my youth.”
“And how the hell do you expect me to do that?”
The man grinned.
“I’ll show you.”
The man reached up above his head and unfastened the chains. He fell to the floor with a thud. His wrists were still shackled, but he was no longer bound to the wall.
“Come,” the man motioned to the door, “I trust you won’t be stupid enough to try to run.”
The halls outside his cell were bright and sterile. The old man hobbled along, his whit gown dragging along behind him. The captive struggled with his powerful instinct to run and not to step on the old man’s clothes.
As they moved along, the lights became dimmer and dimmer. The man looked behind himself to see the brightly lit hall fade away. It wasn’t dark, just poorly lit. The man could suddenly feel a stiff vibration in the walls around him. An electric hum grew as they reached a tall iron door.
The old man took out his keys once more and fondled for the right one. The door groaned open. They stepped into a room whose sole light was emitted from a tiny green LED in the middle of the floor. Apparently the poor lighting didn’t bother the old man. He walked over to one of the panels that lined the room. The prisoner didn’t like what was happening. The man pressed a few buttons and a large window was revealed as the steel shades receded. The room on the other side of the glass wasn’t lit at all, but the man thought that he could see a grey mist wafting about the room. A new noise reached their ears. The sounds of scratching and grunting came through the glass. Something on the other side was breathing heavily. It almost sounded as thought the thing was struggling.
The man went to open his mouth, but the old man put a finger to his own lips to silence him.
Static met the man’s ears as the old man turned on a microphone.
The old man cleared his throat before communicating with the room’s occupant.
“Good morning, my dear. Come over here so I can see you. We have a guest. I think you’ll like him.”
The man listened as a loud grating sound approached the window. He cringed at the sound of metal screeching against metal. The grunts were becoming louder. The man didn’t want to see what was coming. The old man turned on a dim light just behind the glass. The man watched as a creature slowly penetrated the light. It had long bent legs and crooked arms, just like the old man’s. It had large thick spines running down its back. Its feet had long claws on them; the claws seemed to actually be its feet. Its hands weren’t hands, they were claws. The whole thing was a walking ball of spines. It had tiny beady eyes and a very large mouth. It was gaunt and crooked, just like the old man. He hated it. The man turned to the door, hoping to find it open. When he turned back he saw the creature completely in the light accompanied by an IV rack. On one hook the bag contained a red liquid. On the other, there was a clear bag. There were wires coming from all over the creature. Its grey skin seemed to stretch weakly over his skeleton. Suddenly the man forgot about his fears and approached the window. He put his face right up against the glass. The creature came a bit closer. As they gazed into each other’s souls the old man picked up his microphone again.
“So, what do you think, my dearest? Doesn’t he look delicious?”
The creature emitted what sounded remotely like a purr.
The man could feel his heart racing in his chest. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t remove his gaze from those terrible eyes.
“His name is Byde and he’ll be with you soon.”
Byde could see his breath accumulating on the glass. He felt as though he was going to pass out soon. His head was light and his mind was empty. On the other side of the glass he could see the creature’s breath doing the same.
“Byde?” it groaned, “Byde, bye, biding his time…”
Byde’s eyes widened beyond their sockets.
“No, Byde… No fear…” it whispered through the glass.
The old man didn’t seem to notice for he was going on about his own business in the room.
“What?” he breathed.
“Byde no fear… Byde life…”
Byde slowly backed away from the glass. The creature tilted its head to one side.
“No, Byde,” it spoke, “I need… Need Byde… Sorry… Need freedom…”
*****
Byde woke again in his cell. The image of the wired creature was fresh in his mind. It was crooked. Everything was crooked. He was dangling from the wall once more. What the hell was going on? It had to be some terrible nightmare. But how the hell long was it going to last? He moved his hands gently just to make sure that they were still fastened together.
His life had always been dark. He worked at the factory. He had dropped out of school when his parents died. Roaming the streets had always been his true profession. He was lucky to have found a job with machinists; he had always had a knack for such things. His clothes were ratty and torn. He spent most of his paycheck on housing and food. Clothes weren’t a big deal, he just kept them clean.
But what did any of that matter right now? He was at the mercy of a mad man and his deranged pet. Not to mention he was starving…
As if on cue, the old man opened the door and unhooked him from the wall.
“Diner time,” he murmured.
Byde wasn’t sure he wanted to know whose diner time it really was.
They entered a large room. It was adorned by one excessively long table. Two chairs were at each end. The old man seated Byde at the one closest to where they came in. The man continued down the table and sat heavily on the far chair. The table was adorned with food. Byde could feel his stomach lurch at the aromatic scent of food.
“Dig in,” the old man called down the table.
Byde heard his words, but he had no idea of what he was supposed to be doing. His wrists were still stuck together. He looked up pleadingly at the old man who was already starting in on his meal.
“Um…”
The man looked up. Byde sat silently at the far side of the table.
“What? I told you to dig in…”
“I can’t…”
“And why not?” the old man spoke as he emptied his mouth.
“My hands…” he said lifting his arms.
“Oh yes. Let me fix that.”
The old man got up from his seat and walked slowly down the table. He took out his keys and unfastened Byde’s cuffs. He took them off and relocated them to his ankles.
“Eat up,” he smiled as he patted Byde on the back.
Byde tore into the food. It was all so good.
“Oh,” the old man said as he sat back in his chair, “I almost forgot.”
He pulled a remote control out from underneath the table. He pressed the only button on it. Byde gave himself whiplash as he turned to see the wall beside him groan open to reveal another glass window.
“Come on, darling. I’m sorry I forgot.”
The creature was waiting on the other side of the glass. It started out on the old man’s side of the table. When it turned to see Byde at the far end it hobbled down and stood by him. Byde turned to look at the old man, trying not to let the creature into his line of sight. He could swear he felt the creature’s breath on the side of his neck, but he was reassured that it wasn’t there because a glass wall still stood between himself and the monster.
“Come on, Byde, greet your host,” the old man grinned.
Byde turned to the creature. He swallowed his food slowly.
“Um… Hello…”
“Speculum. His name is Speculum,” the old man reiterated.
“He… Hello… Speculum…”
“Good, now continue eating. Speculum enjoys watching people eat.”
Byde was no longer hungry. His appetite flew out the window when the creature came back into his life. Lucky, he thought. He looked back down at his plate. It was laden with half eaten food; he planned on leaving it that way. He kept glancing out of the corner of his eye at the creature. Its mouth was opening and closing for no reason. Byde’s stomach became upset. The creature’s gaze was driving him mad. Why couldn’t it just go away?
He clutched his stomach. The beast’s breath was accumulating on the glass. He looked at it finally and noticed that it wasn’t, in fact, looking at him. Its gaze was fixated on the silver cup he was drinking out of. He picked up the glass and examined it. Nothing about it was strange. He put it back down and the creature’s gaze returned to it. Finally, he decided to go at it with a different approach. He moved his head until he could see what was on the other side of the cup. There was a reflection. It wasn’t the beast whose face he saw on the metal cup; it was a man’s. The face was tired and worn. It almost seemed as though it was begging for help. Byde thought that it looked very familiar. He looked up and over the food. It was the old man’s face. It was, he was sure of it… but how?
“What exactly is Speculum?” he asked suddenly in the old man’s direction.
“Speculum? He is a demon. My key to immortality…”
“What do you mean by immortality?”
The old man grinned.
“You ask too many questions for someone who is destined to be someone else’s meal… You’ll learn all that soon enough. Speculum will tell you everything…”
*****
The next day greeted Byde in his dark chamber. Once again he was hanging from the wall. If he could have one wish right now it would definitely be for freedom. He wanted out of this hellish place. He wanted to flee from the old man and his pet, Speculum. Something deep inside told him that this would be his last day on earth.
The old man came like he always did, only this time, his face didn’t seem as worn as it usually did. He wore a youthful smile that masked his age amazingly.
“Today’s the day, Byde.”
He led Byde back into the green-lit room. He was so chipper. The old man seemed to dance down the halls. Byde could feel something large lodging itself in his throat.
The old man opened the blinds. There, on the ground, just beneath the light was Speculum. He was thin and pathetic looking. He was so very white…
The old man took off his cuffs.
“Speculum’s ready for you now, Byde.”
With that a hatch creaked open and the old man shoved Byde in.
“What the fuck are you doing? Let me go! Let me go you piece of wrinkled shit!”
“You knew this was coming,” the old man said as the hatch closed, “so why are you so afraid?”
Byde’s words were lost in his throat.
For a matter of seconds he was surrounded by complete darkness. The hatch opened again. This time it opened into Speculum’s room. He could hear the creature’s wheezing louder than ever. It snorted and then began to struggle to its feet.
“Yes my darling, arise and accept you long awaited meal,” the old man’s voice echoed over the intercom.
Speculum was on his feet sooner than Byde expected. The eyes were so sunken in that he was surprised that the creature could see anything.
“P… Please no… God no… Please…”
And Speculum was on him. The creature’s breath was dry. It smelled like death and decay… like something inside it was dying. Byde squirmed out from underneath the creature and ran out into the darkness of the room.
He could hear the old man laughing.
“Where can you possibly escape to? This is Speculum’s environment. He’ll find you no matter where you go! So why bother! Just resign and give in to your fate.”
Byde kept running until he felt as though his heart was going to explode. His legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground. His breath was rasping and heavy. Soon enough his breath was joined by another.
“Please no run no more…”
“What?” he spat as he turned to see Speculum crouched over next to him in the dim lighting of the room.
“No more run…”
“What the fuck are you?!”
“You saw… I human… or was human…”
“I don’t understand? How can you be human?”
Speculum took hold of Byde’s scull and drew him into the place were time has no hold…
*****
Byde stood up in the darkness. It was strange… Even though it seemed dark to his eyes, it was in fact perfectly lit. Across from him, in this place that seemed to go on forever, was the crumpled body of a man.
“You see…” he said as he shook, “my time is almost up…”
The body unfolded to reveal a young man in a GI uniform. He sat up slowly to face Byde.
“I fought the war… came home to nothing… Wandered the streets until he got me… Fed me to his damn pet, he did…”
Byde went to open his mouth, but he had no idea of what he wanted to say.
“You see… I am the beast, at least on the inside. And you shall take my place…”
Byde was frozen with fear.
“I’ve suffered long enough in this damned body. My real body is almost gone… The creature’s body is digesting it. This has been my home for the past sixty years. My soul has been residing in this damnable place. I think I’ve earned my freedom as well as a decent meal…”
“What…” the word drooled out of Byde’s mouth.
“What happens when a demon wants to be more than a demon? The old man? He’s the only monster here. He is the demon. Stalks young men until he can kidnap them and drag them away to feed his damn body…”
“I… I don’t understand…”
“The body and the soul are separate. I will be destroying you in order to gain my freedom. You will take my place in this hell…”
“I…”
“Don’t want to die?” the soldier completed Byde’s words, “You don’t exactly have a choice, now, do you?”
Byde was silent.
The man laughed.
“The one before me was a poor bastard just like you… But his soul is at peace now and there is no reason to dredge up the past.
“The spirit of the demon will take your form when I take your life and your soul will take residency inside of his physical body, this body. He has to keep the body alive if he wants to keep existing in our realm…”
“So just let the creature die!”
“I can’t. If it dies my soul is damned. You can do that if you want to, when its your spirit at stake…
“You will fuel and drive the body, just like I have for the past sixty years. As your body is broken down within you, you will become weaker and weaker until he brings you your replacement. And trust me, by that time the idea of consuming human flesh doesn’t sound that bad. My body is just about gone. Sixty years… digestion is slow… that’s how long my body has suffered and I won’t let it suffer any longer…”
With a painful flash, Byde was back in the misty room with the decrepit Speculum at his side.
“So now,” it gurgled, “you see why I have no choice, but to consume you… Its nothing personal, really…”
It seemed pretty personal to bide as the creature took hold of his body. He began to scream and struggle with all his strength, but that was quickly fading…
“No… let me go you bastard… LET ME G…”
The last of Byde’s yells were muffled inside of the creature’s body. The intake was slow and Byde could no longer struggle. The creature’s muscles had him now… With one last painful squeeze he was down inside of the creature’s stomach. He was faint, but well aware of his predicament. He was inside of the creature and soon his soul would become part of it.
In his weakness he felt something wrap around his wrist. He looked down and in the darkness he could make out the shape of a skeletal hand resting on his own. A horrible face looked up at him. It seemed to wink as it melted away and Byde was alone for the rest of his life in the bowls of the demon’s body.
It was quiet. Quiet, dark, and wet. Byde was tired. He was ready to give it up now. He was a goner anyway. Suddenly, he felt his soul being ripped violently away from his body. He blinked a few times and realized that he was looking out into the dark room where he had just been. He struggled to his feet… they weren’t his feet. He brought his hands before his eyes… they were claws…
He began to whimper in fear. He scratched at himself, hoping the demon’s flesh would fall away revealing his own body beneath. Instead he only ripped his new flesh… and it hurt. When he looked down at his new body he saw a large bulge where the body he had been born into now laid. That was it. His sanity was gone. He got front row seats to the destruction of his own body and his soul was bound to demon’s skin. Byde’s sanity was gone. When he tried to scream, a terrible howl burst out from his lungs. He clutched his stomach, holding it in his arms, caressing it as if it were a child. Tears were streaming down those foreign cheeks. Pain wracked his body.
“Now come to me, my darling. Let me see you again.”
That voice… That voice… If only he could tear that voice from its box…
He stumbled through the darkness until he could see a faint light in the distance. He dragged his body toward it. Once in the light, his heart froze…
There he was, standing on the other side of the glass, smiling back at himself.
“Oh, how good you look my dearest,” he spoke to himself through the glass.
When he tried to respond a series of grunts and gurgles rose from his throat.
“Rest easy, my darling. It’s been a rough day for everyone.”
Byde snarled in his new body.
“Think of it this way, boy. We’ve traded bodies for a while… at least until your flesh is finally gone… Remember, that’s all the food you’ve got, so ration it wisely…”
And then he began to laugh. He was laughing at himself…
But he was no longer himself. He could see the faint reflection of his face in the glass. It was the creature the man called Speculum’s face.
Byde pounded on the glass, screaming with his new voice… but it was no use. The light went out and the man was gone. Byde collapsed in the darkness. He cradled his belly in his claws and laid down to a dreamless sleep. How long would he have to suffer like this until someone else came along to free him from this hell?
Author's notes: Speculum is Latin for mirror. That was how I was using it. Any other meanings do not apply. Byde is Danish for sacrifice. That's it. Any confusion please post it.
R&R!!!!
All feed back accepted.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005
RuneScape
Check it out! runescape.com is so amazingly fun! You can sign up for free for unlimited time, but they catch you by saying that if you want access to certain stuff you need to become a member a.k.a. pay $5 a month for unlimited access. I don't plan on doing this because it is fun enough! You get to create a character and wander the vast expanse of RuneScape. Make friends, create enemies, interact with real people, level up and fight it out!. Its great. I've been looking for a cool online RPG... that was free...
............................................I guess I kind of sound like an agent on an advertisement binge..............
Oh, well, it isn't spam!
Look for me if you feel like joining! But good luck on finding any one you know. The world is so vast that I sometimes lose my own character! (room 15, usually)
Friday, September 09, 2005
Comments...
Thank you.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Let it Be ~ The Beatles
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, ...
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, ...
LAST TIME SPAMHOLES!!!
I DON'T CARE ABOUT CAT TOYS AND FINE APPAREL!!
WHERE THE HELL'D YOU GET MY ADDRESS?!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Buttons
These are free for use, but please give credit where credit is due. And, due to low bandwith, please do not link directly to this page. Thank you.
And there will be more to come, hopefully a lot better than these!
Blog Fonts
Here's a link to the site I use: http://www.1001freefonts.com/
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Spammers...
But...
And one more thing...
Like the banner? Home-made. I am so proud of it *sniffs*.
Oh and scroll down... See Mustang? I made that too!
I also weeded out the other siggys I had. There was no need for that many...
These are amung my first ... how shall I put this... I don't know... Button/Banner/Signature creations. There are a few more... but I think these are my favorites! SO DON'T COMPLAIN PEOPLE!! I think they're pretty good for my first round of Paint Shop.
Also: !!!!!!!!!!Disclaimer!!!!!!!!!!
I do not own Gundam Wing or Fullmetal Alchemist. They are the properties of their respective creators.
Any custom art used in any of my creations (still more to come) belong to their creators. To them I give my thanks. If there are any problems (ie. recognition of ownership...) contact me!
In any case, I like it. Altering a blog like this just seems to give it a more personal feel...
Hello Anonymous!
I remember when I started this thing... What I really wanted to do was share opinions with other people... I've had some comments from the outside... but no one ever said it was nice... *sniffs and snivels*
Thank You! <3>
Locomotive Breath by Jethro Tull
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
School
It sucks. I'm taking Math B over... I barely know fractions! I am so affraid that I'm going to fail again. I plan on seeing Ms. Z after school just about every day for help. I'll be taking the regents twice: January and June. I think I'll do better in the class this time because I know the teacher I have now isn't anywhere near as challenging as Ms. Z, but if I plan on passing the regents, I'll need as much help from Ms. Z as I can get...
Oh, and Ed: Thanks for the gifts, they're very nice. Also, I understand that it may have been a typo, but my name is Cara, not Caca... my brother calls me that...
I was the only one in Comp. Pol. that did any work over the summer. I did the entirety of the first assignment... out of three, that's not bad. Especially considering that no one even made it through the first half of assignment one, I am very proud of myself. I felt so lonely when he asked us to be honest and raise our hands to show who had at least gotten assignment one done... I was the only one with my hand in the air! Later on we were talking about AP scores from last year. I got a three and he remembered it. As he was walking by my desk he put his hand on my shoulder and said: "You got a three, didn't you?" I nodded. "That's excellent, but what does that tell you?" "That I really wish I had done all the work last year..." He nodded with a smile and walked off. It was kind of cool. This year I plan on doing extremely well for Mr. Wynn because he seems to believe in me in a way I thought no teacher could. It made me fell good and a bit more confident about the year ahead...
I wonder how Paul's doing in his first day in high school? Not that its a big difference. In our school, the middle school and the high school are in one building. We are very small. But I mean its high school. Whether or not its the same building, its a new level of life. I hope he's fairing okay.
Ah, well, we have shortened periods today because the new principal. Mr. Ryone? (I hope thats how you spell it...) gave a speech about his new expectations of our school. He sounds like a good guy and that he will be very good for our district.
This period just ended, but I have lunch now, so I think I'll just stay here...
I'm lonely... Its big and quiet in here... And everyone just left... Oh, well, such is life...

Friday, September 02, 2005
I'm Home...
Jiggedy jigg...
This can only mean one of two things:
I'm back in my own room with my good ol' shitty DSL that may as well be dial up
AND
School's starting soon!!!!! (the exclaimation marks are only meant to emphasize my sarcastic joy for the ocassion)
Oh, well. The weather's nice here, thank Gods (I swear that I'd die if it was like what it was when I left.)
We just got home maybe40 minutes ago (yes it took me that long to get situated, most of it donated to getting my internet to work.)
We have a new pet. Fletcher is a young Garder snake that my dad found in the woods up in Maine. He mad the ride home so I think we're keeping him.
Just as it was when I was leaving, being home has the same melancholy feeling.
In the grander scheme of things...
My heart goes out to all who are trapped in the wake of hurricane Katrina and to those who are wiating for the news regarding family and friends. I am so ver thankful that no one close to me was caught in this tragedy, but my heart still aches for those who are suffering.
Later...
Price Gauging on Gas: How Dare they use this Tragedy as a Reason to fill their own Pockets!
AND...
"Don't buy gas unless you need it." ~ The Appointed President Bush
Yeah, you asked for it and now I'm gonna get all political on your sorry conservative asses...
Night, night. Although it is late, and I should be exhausted, I seem to be stuck in a realm of minor insomnia. It should wear off soon. By then, you'll find me virtually dead on my bed.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Blogging from Maine
I read the Green Day comment. To clarify: I searched the song name. I got a result for Green Day, Semisonic and Matchbox 20. Someone did a cover for someone else. That's all there is to it. To whomever it was first composed by I guess I owe them some credit (Semisonic, I suppose). Otherwise, I'm posting from the Green Day cover.
As for Ed... I don't know what to say... We need to comunicate a bit more. Its tough with cell phones.
Ah well, I'm on a dial up connection and the neighbors need the phone. Don't wan't to be rude!
Monday, August 01, 2005
In other news...
*sigh*
I guess I'll be writing again in a few days.
Tata for now!
Love and Peace to all,
Nina Elric
ED'S HOME!!!!!
OR ELSE HE DOESN'T GET CAKE...
No "Buts"!
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
22 visits...
wait, did I say all that out loud? oops.... <:3 )~~~~
A new counter
(For those who don't know what I'm talking about Duo is the picture at the bottom of my blog)
My new Avatar
Monday, July 25, 2005
X_x -_-;
Closing Time by Green Day
Closing time, open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time. turn all the of lights over ev'ry boy and every girl
Closing time, one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time, you don't have to leave, but you can't stay here
Chorus
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home... home...
Verse 2
Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time, this room won't be open till your brother's or sister's come
SO gather up your jackets, moving to the exits, I hope you found a friend
Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, yeah
Chorus
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home... home...
Bridge
Closing time, time for you to go to the places you will be from...
Chorus
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home... home...
I know who I want to takle me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home... home...
End
Closing time, every beginning comes frome some other beginning's end...
Great lyrics with a lot of meaning... GO GREEN DAY!!!!
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Back to hating life...
Monday, July 18, 2005
I like blogging so much...
Her blog is Today.
I'm so proud of her. She's one of those older people that relishes the chance to learn something new, even when it comes to computers and the internet. She's so awesome and I owe her so much.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Story
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
102 Skidoo!!!!
Oh, and in honor of my 102nd post I have taken the time to screw around with my template...
Likie? No Likie?
Who cares! I love it!!!!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Guess what?
Well........ Whether you like it or not you're the main character of my new short story! Only instead of a vampire, you are a dragon slayer who gets eaten and dies... sorry, Ed, I love you but... Someone has to die... And it has to be the main character... coincidentally (or not) you both have the same name!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Grrrr....
That was a mouthful...
I could have found a better picture but I didn't feel like spending an hour on my shitty computer looking one up... Nuuh, not with this shitty connection...
P.S. I put something new on my footer... scroll down to the bottom of my blog and check it out!!!! Cool, huh?
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Thursday Madness X2
So there it is. Two cartoons. One for last week and one for this week. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with it from now on...
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Tests and Insanity (literally)
Anyway, the moral? Well, there is a sort-of moral-ish thing to be had from all this...... : Everyone Needs Someone to Lean On Through the Good, Bad, and Ugly.... Amen.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
I guess its been a while...
Anyway, I've discovered chatrooms... so I've been putting all my attention into that shit recently.
Then there's testing... ITS REGENTS SEASON!!!! I finished the two-part English exam that was snowed out in January. Now I'm here for my American History which can't be too hard... I took the AP course afterall...
Still to come: Chemistry tomorrow at noon and Math B on thursday at 8:00 in the morning (I am not at all excited.)
I would be chatting now, but since I'm in school I can't. They have a block on the site I use. Oh well... I got time to put something on this lonely beast...