/sigh

WELLLL it appears I've totally forgotten how to read the HTML for these things... A few years ago I was all over that stuff but now I look at it and I'm like... "Huh... gibberish..." The least i wanted to do was get my old banner up but for the life of me i can't find where to put it in that mess of symbols and words... And the background... its so plain... I reset it to the original default i had been working on in hopes of better understanding the code but... Yeah still at square one. For god's sake i can't even post a pic in the profile section! I really have become challenged. Regardless, I won't be giving up quite yet. I WILL make it work eventually (somehow). Had to find my way back into my old photobucket account to just FIND the old pics... really thought they would have been gone by now for lack of use but no they're all still there... Well back to work... These dumb databases won't back-check themselves... If only they could...

De ja vu or passing craze?

So um... I'm over MySpace... Too many people can watch you there... so I think for now I'll just stay in the privacy of blog spot. Once i rehash the URL I'll be able to re-customize my page. It'll just take some time to adjust to again seeing as right now its a light grey text on white I'll probably just implement a premade layout for the time being. BUT none of that is truly that important. Even though I sometimes feel as though i'm talking to a wall here i reread a comment left by "JPerry" and realized that the insight provided in that response was far more interesting than anything anyone has contrived on MySpace. My response: I prefer that one in a million high quality, well thought out response over a million drabbles of mundane redundancy. SO for now I'm here and I have a lot of updates to make!

whoopsies...

nvm... I can't read. I thought they were closing my account, but it was just a notice regarding some downtime. Oh well. I guess it's been a while. I'm a MySpacer now, but I won't soon forget blogger, lol. anyway, i'm just checking up on a few things at the moment. My MySpace url is cjnina4ever if you want to check it out.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! DON"T KILL ME!!!! I don't want to lose this blog! Not yet! I'm using MySpace at the moment, but I still want this one!!! It contains so many memories!!!!

X_x

Taylor Hicks is the new American Idol! YAY! I will buy his records.

Gram's coming home today. I'm going to see her after school.

I feel like shit. I went to a new doctor yesterday. Didn't like her too much. She's my mom's doctor. Mom's trying to convert everyone over to her doctor. It wasn't any fun. They took six vials of blood (3 big, 3 small) and gave me all my shots. Meningitus, Tetanus, and a TB test. The tetanus is killing me. My left shoulder is frozen stiff and my other muscles are achey too. I want to go to bed. My day is officially over, but i can't go home. We have a sub in English so i don't really want to go, but Mom doesn't want me leaving early again. Mr. Gannon's not even here! I'm probably gonna skip it and see what happens.

:( & :)

Gram's gone to California to be with Uncle George and his family. She'll be back next Friday. On her way back she'll stay with Uncle David in Georgia for two days. I hope she has fun.

On to less pertinent things!

Yay! Taylor's still on! But I'm kinda sad that Elliott went. I had really hoped that Katherine would've gone, but i kinda figured that this would happen. If Elliott were still on, Taylor would have a clear shot. Oh well, he may aswell deserve his victory. Kattie is a tough oponent, as much as i don't like her bouncy voice. She's very popular and she's pretty. If only she could find a range and stick with it. Then i would have a problem. Anyway... Yeah...

READ THE ADVENTURES OF ORANGE!!!! It's my current work on FictionPress. Please read it and review! It's actually very funny.

That's it for now. I'm sure i'll post again later today...

On to my story!

Over the Rainbow? Or Down the Toilet?

Okay. I don't usually give a flying fuck and really don't, but i needed a good rant. I never liked American Idol...

Okay...

I just watched the remaining female, Katharine McPhee, do a horrific rendition of over the rainbow. I was appalled at the praise she recieved! Look, she's beautiful and she can have a nice voice, but she jumps around the scale a bit much. I can't sing! But i do know when others can't. And it's not just her!

Eliot Yamin is just a plain flop. He sucks. Bad.

VOTE TAYLOR HICKS!!!!! NOW!!!! He's active, jumpy, spunky, and a great performer. He can move and sing at the same time! Multitasking! Okay call: 1-866-4365703 and vote Taylor Hicks!!!!! NOW!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????

Where are you Baarsma??????!!!!!!

So... Tired...

Day 2 of post-spring break activity. I'm like beyond exhausted. My back and hips hurt; I think it's the weather. Been gross. Muggy. Wet, hot/cold, and humid.. gross.

I accepted to Mercyhurst College over the break. It's only like six hours away in Erie, Pennsylvania. Whatever, it has what i want.

I'm so friggin tired. I want to go home and sleep. I went to bed fairly early last night, but i feel so unrested.

Prom is Saturday. -_-; My mask is done, my dress has been altered (twice), I have the shoes, I have the jewelry, and i'm gonna get my contacts sometime this week. All i have to do is go to the mall, get a contact eye examination (different from a regular eye examination), and i get my contacts right then and there. Fun. I have bi-focals (you didn't know?) so i plan on just getting the distance perscription. More fun. I just want to see at prom. I figured that juggling between a mask and glasses would be kinda rough. Nails on friday and the rest is saturday morning... yay...

Boy i feel like shit.

Golf club (yeah, it's a club now) has its first game today. I don't think i'm gonna go. I don't feel good and everyone else is semi-professional. High 40s and low 50s. I'm like mid 60s. I suck. I'd just slow them down anyway.

ugh... sleepy...

Food For Thought

About 8 years ago a movie came out. My parents went to go see it. I wanted to go with them, but they talked me into staying with grandma. When they came back from the theatre, they were silent. It was a sad, almost reverant silence. I didn't even think about a movie that could get my father to cry.

About two years later, i heard about it again in my social studies class. The kids were raving about it. I felt like the only one who hadn't seen it. They described it as if it were a sort of "shoot-'em-up" gangbusters film. At that point, i wanted to see it so badly, just to fit in. I went home and asked my parents. They shook their heads and said that I was too young.

About two years ago, I was sitting at home with my grandmother thinking about some of the films i had always wanted to see and i mentioned that movie. My grandmother looked at me and said, "Yeah, I think you can handle it. It's not an enjoyable movie, but it is amazing." I nodded and said that i was ready for anything.

That day, we went to the video rental place and picked the movie up. I watched it in silent horror and pain. After the first twenty minutes I kinda wanted to shut it off and walk away, but I stayed put. I figured that this was the closest i was going to come to even barely understanding what those people went through. I felt terrible that war is so glorified and the dead are only numbers. It made me think about things that I had never thought about before.

I'm pretty sure that this week has been labled "Holocaust Rememberance Week." We walked into Mr. Wynn's class laughing about our conversation with Mr. Holst from last period. Mr. Wynn mentioned that he was showing Saving Private Ryan to some of his classes. I jumped a bit. Then Sasha had the audacity to bash the movie with only having seen the first ten minutes (or so he said). I shook my head. He said that it was just another war movie; nothing even remotely different about it. Mr. Wynn tried to tell him that it brought in a terrible human mortality aspect and that was what made it so amazing. And Sasha said, "So how can you make an entire movie about saving one man?" Mr. Wynn sighed and said that he was going to show us the part after the horrific beginning where they are typing the telegrams. But Sasha said that the beginning was plain and that it was a good thing we were skipping it. So Mr. Wynn stopped the tape, rewound it and started it from the beginning. Sasha was silent. The one time he opened his mouth dureing the entire thing his voice was shakey and broken up. He said, "What the hell were they thinking? How were they going to get up that beach?" And then he was silent again. I was silent, everyone was silent. I wanted to cry, I know everyone felt the same. And even though he had seen it a million times, Mr. Wynn was still rivveted to it with watering eyes.

It was horrific. Horrific in its true nature. No ghosts or supernaturals. No hack-saw murders. No talking dolls. Just plain, brutal reality and that was what made it so terrible. Reality is scary and nothing else really is. We watch "horror" movies for the shock value, but to sit down and see reality is the scariest things of all. Words and numbers mean nothing. It's seeing it and hearing it that counts. And even though it was an amazing movie, it was still nothing compared to what those veterans went through.

So yeah, I just wanted to write that down.

God bless those who fight and die for what they believe in...